In This World We're Just Beginning
by singsongsung
Summary: Oneshot. Set during 1x10. Serena and Carter reconnect in an unlocked bathroom, and Dan learns how things work on the Upper East Side.


**A/N: **This is what my mind comes up with when you combine my love for Serena and Carter's relationship with a lot of talking about _the O.C._Those of you who deserve a bit of the blame for this craziness know who you are. ;) Review if you read, please.

**In This World We're Just Beginning**

He smiles and is polite because he knows how she adores her grandmother, so it is important that her grandmother adores him, and in reality he doesn't want to begrudge her any happiness, if that's what she's got, but he can't seem to stop looking at her.

She has changed. He's heard this, he knows that, and as observes it he finds that he loves it and loathes it in equal parts; she is both achingly familiar and startlingly different. When he winks subtly at her, he sees her face shift, notes the glimpse he gets of the girl he _knows_. Her friend – boyfriend – is saying something softly to her that she's listening to absently. She can feel his gaze, from across the small room, and he sees a smile tug at her lips. It's classic Serena, easily recognizable, and that's when he can guarantee that whatever exists between them is still there.

Finding his moment, he excuses himself from tea only moments after she does, slipping into the bathroom and grabbing her wrist lightly when she walks by, pulling her in after him. The downstairs washroom in the extravagant Waldorf duplex is on an inner wall, well-decorated but free of windows. With the door closed, its pitch black inside, her body colliding roughly with his. He hears the sound of her breathing in the still air around them, feels a couple of her fingers touch his cheek while he keeps his arms securely around her waist, pulling her closer still.

"_What're you doing?"_ she asks him in that airy tone he's come to know so well, giggles tucked securely into each of her words, threatening to let loose. She plants her hands on his chest, as if to push him away, but instead she grasps at the lapels of his blazer a bit, holding onto him.

He can't resist, leans in to kiss her. He expects her to fight it for a moment but she gives in right away, kissing him back with the same quiet kind of intensity as her arms slip around his neck. She tastes like the sugary cookies Blair's serving and he's greedy for her, deepening the kiss.

With more self-control than he's got, she pulls back, her nose brushing his. "What're you doing?" she asks again, this time with a little more curiosity and firmness in her voice.

Wanting to kiss her again but knowing she won't allow it, he sighs into the darkness, his eyes adjusting, identifying the outline of her face. "What're you…_doing_?" he shoots back disdainfully. "_Brooklyn_, really?"

One of her arms falls away from her neck as she reaches behind her with the assuredness of a girl who's been in this house and this bathroom countless times before, flicking on the light switch. There is a frown on her lips under the florescent lights, but one of her hands continues to rest on his shoulder. "And to think that you were so civil up to this point…"

"I'll continue being civil to him," he answers without missing a beat, his blue eyes meeting hers, his gaze locking there for a moment before it travels over the rest of her face. She's still got those same sunny freckles on her cheeks. He feels himself soften, tries to resist it, but she just pulls it out of him. "If that's what you want," he adds, watching her carefully.

"Of course it's what I –" She stops short, her cheeks flushing. She licks her lips nervously. "Why're you looking at me like that?"

"It's…it's been too long. I've missed you." He didn't really think about it until he saw her today, and then it hit him in a wave, the jealousy and the longing. He has never expected her to be his girlfriend or anything or the sort, but he's always had the undeniable feeling that she is _his_. For as long as he can remember she's been tied to him, an integral part of his life, his benchmark in the world, the person he ventures back to every time.

"_Carter_…" she says his name on a sigh, slipping back into his arms, this time in a hug. "Thank you for coming," she whispers. "I missed you, too."

Neither of them comments on the fact that the last time they saw one another, she slipped away in the middle of the night, leaving him alone in Santorini. He understands her, comprehends the things that unnerve her. They work in similar ways; he isn't upset with her over it.

"Let me escort you," he requests. She tenses a little bit and he continues: "It'd be my _honour_, Serena."

He can envision the way she's rolling her eyes as she laughs and tucks her head against his chest. "Yeah." It'd be perfect if she stopped there, but she goes on, "Dan's got an art opening he has to go to, anyway."

Letting go of her, he sighs again. "Dan," he repeats. "You're…happy with him?"

Serena presses her hands to her eyes for a moment. "Things have just been hard, since I got back to the city, with Blair and Nate and my mother and Eric –"

"Eric?" he questions, his brows coming together as he frowns.

She shoots him this look, a combination of desperation and gratitude, and reaches for his hand. He gives it to her immediately as she mutters, "It's a long story."

"You can tell me any –"

"Later, okay?" she cuts him off, pleading. "Dan…Dan's really sweet. He's nice. He seems to…" Trailing off, it's as though she doesn't care enough to finish her own argument.

"Sweet? Nice?" he questions sceptically.

"Stop," she warns, but her fingers squeeze his like she's encouraging him.

"Since when are those the things Serena van der Woodsen wants?" A smile creeps onto his lips, unbidden. "You can't have changed _that_ much."

There is a pause, a thickness in the air. She studies him, and he knows she's aware that he's begging her to tell him that he's right. Exhaling softly, she nods. "No. I haven't changed that much."

"Break if off with him."

Both of them are shocked by his words. Her eyebrows are perched high on her forehead, her mouth open slightly, but she takes a moment to get it together before she speaks. "For what? So _we_ can be together?"

He hesitates – barely for a second – but it's long enough. Serena shakes her head.

"We both know that's not going to happen."

Carefully, he brings her hand to his lips, dropping a kiss on her knuckles. "For tonight," he reasons quietly, "It could happen."

"I…"

He tugs her close to him via their intertwined hands. "Tell me you feel _anything_ like this with him," he says, his lips brushing hers as he speaks.

This time, she initiates the kiss, and he smirks triumphantly against her mouth for a moment, but it fades away as he gets lost in her. She kisses him hungrily, sinking back into the recognizable intimacy between them. Hands gripping her hips, he turns them slightly, backs her up against the counter by the sink. She hops up a bit to sit on top of it, tilting her head to the side sweetly, looking at him with those big blue eyes. He stands in between her legs, resting his hands on her thighs.

"Are you going to leave again tomorrow?" she asks, an unsteady innocence in her voice that pulls at his heart.

He presses a kiss to her cheek, leaning close. "Probably," he confesses, because he's oddly incapable of lying to her. "Are you…alright?"

"There's just so much going on," she breathes. "Carter, I…" She stops, biting her lip. "I want to talk to you about all of it, but it just seems like…too much for twenty-four hours."

"I wish I could stay, but I –"

"Don't." The word is abrupt, but it's gentle. "You go when you have to go. I've always done the same thing."

Nodding seriously, he kisses her other cheek, then her forehead. "Tell me the big things. Let me fix what I can for you before I go."

Her eyes flash stubbornly. "I don't need you to _fix_ me."

"You don't need fixing at all," he agrees smoothly. "But the things around you might."

She giggles, her eyes clean, calm blue again. "Of course I need fixing," she sighs, resigned but still smiling.

"Serena. Sweetheart –" He's not sure where the term of endearment comes from, but suddenly it's there, between them, and it feels right; "- if _you _need fixing, then what do _I_ need?"

Shaking her head fondly, she reaches up and runs her hand through his hair, lightly mussing it up, as his fingers skim down her back, tracing the curve of her spine.

"S.," an obtrusive voice from outside the door startles them both, prim yet affectionate, "what the hell are you doing in there? Normally I'd approve of you hiding from Humphrey, but – " Blair is cut off by her own surprise when she swings the bathroom door open and finds them there. She gives their sheepish smiles about two seconds before she throws them an exasperated look and turns on her heel to leave, hissing as she goes, "They put _locks_ on _doors_ for a _reason_."

One of his eyebrows arches in Serena's direction. "You didn't lock the door?"

"Didn't think of it." She shrugs. "See: fixing; it's needed."

"Nah. I like that you're risk-taker," he all but growls, angling his head so that he can kiss the juncture of her jawbone and her neck. "More importantly," he adds, smirking against her skin when he hears her contented sigh, "Am I seeing things, or did Blair Waldorf just walk in on you and me and _not_ shoot one of those death glares?" He straightens up to look at her while she answers.

"Maybe she's warming up to you," Serena responds, as optimistic as ever.

"Or maybe she was happy to see this," he contradicts her huskily, touching her lips, indicating the way they're curved into a smile. "Tell me what's been going on with you, beautiful."

"Now?"

"Yes, now." He takes both of her hands, pulling her off of the counter and guiding her to sit with him on the rug by the side of the tub. "Everything, I mean it.'

Her eyes light up, she takes a deep breath, and she does. She is so captivating; she's got him hanging off each and every one of her words, from meeting Dan and figuring it was safer but learning it was harder, and her grandmother's apparently sick, and she's not sure if Blair will ever fully trust her again and it breaks her heart, and she can't believe she left her little brother so alone that he didn't even want to live anymore, and Chuck wants her back the way she was, things are awkward with Nate and she hates it. There is a lot of grief, punctuated now and again by brief bursts of regret, hurt, and confusion.

"Well…" he begins wryly when they reach the last of her current issues, "You probably broke Nathaniel's heart."

"I did not," she mutters. "He's going to this thing with Blair."

"But as friends, yes?" He shakes his head. "Serena, you forget that I know how much it hurts to wake up without you there."

She breaks eye contact with him. "I'm…sorry about that. It just…it all caught me a little by…by surprise."

"I know." He meets her worried eyes when she looks back at him. "We'll figure it out. One of these days."

"Yeah…" Her voice trails off and he can see it all again; grief, regret, confusion.

"We will," Carter says once more, leaving no more for argument. He lets the words sink in before he asks, "What colour is your dress, the one you're wearing tonight?"

Surprised by his question, she doesn't respond for a minute, but when she does there is a sing-song quality to her words: "Why? Are you going to _match_ your outfit to mine?"

"I'm supposed to, aren't I?"

Serena's smile is soft, a perfect balance of coyness and sweetness. "Gold."

"Okay. Gold."

"I should warn you…my mother wrote my presentation statement. It's awful."

He nods slowly, winks at her. "I'll see what I can do about that."

Her breath leaves her lips in a rush. "I've…"

He opens his mouth to respond, but then there's a knock on the door and a twist of the knob that neither of them had bothered to knock after Blair's intrusion, and Dan Humphrey is standing there, staring down at them. Carter glances away instantly, focusing his attention on Serena. Her lips move but no sound escapes.

She tries again, contrite and quiet, like he's never heard her before: "Hi."

Dan crosses his arms, looks sad and frustrated and righteous. "Let me guess," he sighs sarcastically. "You two have done a little more than _go to school together_."

Serena's tone is even as she twists toward him, looking up earnestly. "We were just catching up. I'm sorry."

"You're not. You never will be."

"_Dan_." There is a strange combination of hurt and sympathy in her voice as she gets to her feet, hands splayed at her sides, asking for something.

"You'll always be here. You'll always be so…_entitled_. I won't ever be able to…" He shakes his head, judgment hardening his expression.

"Trust me?" she asks tightly, the kind of question that needs an answer of _no_.

"Yes!" he snaps, throwing his hands into the air. "I'm _done_ here."

He storms away, leaving Cece with an unsurprised expression, Blair looking mortified at his lack of decorum, and Serena with tears gleaming in her pretty eyes. It is the last of these things that Carter finds unbearable. He's not unhappy that Dan did the dirty work, but he doesn't want to see her upset. He loops an arm lightly around her waist and she doesn't react; he drops a kiss on her temple and whispers, "I'll fix this. See you at seven thirty, okay?"

Serena's eyes meet his for a moment, acknowledging him, trusting him, and she nods. It is small, a downward tilt of her chin, but it's there. And it is all he needs to steer him downstairs and into the building's small courtyard. Behind him, before the elevator doors close, he hears Blair sigh, "Serena; _locks_."

"Daniel."

He whirls around, glaring. "_What_?"

Carter sticks his hands in his pockets casually, shrugs carelessly. "I can't stand by and watch you make Serena cry. It's not something I usually tolerate," he informs the other boy breezily. Dan, four years younger than him and incredibly out of place, looks childishly lost.

"So, what?" he asks, almost tiredly. "You like her? You want to…do you want to _fight_ me?" he asks incredulously, brown eyes widening. "Have you seen Chuck Bass' black eye? Because I gave it to him."

"I couldn't care less about Chuck's eyes," he laughs, "and I know he'd rather it that way. Yes, I have…feelings for Serena, but that's beside the point. As for fighting you…" He sizes Dan up. "I could, but that's not the way I do things."

"So how do you do things around here, then?" The bite is fading from Dan's voice, defeat setting in. Carter almost feels bad for him. He knows what it is to care about Serena van der Woodsen, to have to handle it; the difference is that he knows her well enough to make it easy, and that even when it's hard he's always aware that it's worth it.

Carter smirks, tilts his head oh-so-slightly to one side, and Dan's eyes widen further when he spots the two men that suddenly move toward him. Carter jerks his chin forward the smallest bit, and one of the men steps forward and punches Dan cleanly. One punch, enough to knock him over, enough to hurt, enough to fix it for Serena. Nothing really harmful.

Dan hisses something from the ground, touching his cheek, and Carter considers helping him up but decides against it quickly. Instead, he strides past the boy on the ground, stating wryly: "Welcome to the UES…_bitch_," he adds as a bit of an afterthought, because it seems like the appropriate place to throw it in, and because he knows Serena will laugh reluctantly at that detail one day in their future.

But for now, he needs to go buy a gold tie to go with his tuxedo.


End file.
